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  • Brian Maxwell

Day 39: Polyjuice Potion


“I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute,” President Donald Trump rambled on during a press conference. “One minute.  And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning?” I heard these words. I heard these words, not only coming from the mouth of an adult yesterday, but from an adult whom people actually look to for direction. I don't think I need to tell you, thirsty readers, please don't do this.


As I sit here, sipping my coffee this morning, I can't believe I'm actually writing about this. In our wildest imagination, I don't think any of us could dream up something so bizarre and unsettling. We keep hearing people say the Trump presidency is kinda like the movie Idiocracy, where the world is populated by morons, electing a professional wrestler as president, but I think that's a serious compliment. We are entering The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at this point, and I'm not sure which potion we're going to hear about next.


In the dungeons of Hogwarts, sits a classroom unlike the rest. In the words of Potions Professor, Severus Snape, "There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few... Who possess, the predisposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death." I'm talking, of course, about Potions Class.


With so many different forms of potions in the Harry Potter universe, I kept asking myself which one of these could give the biggest escape, perhaps be someone else for a short time. Polyjuice Potion allows the user to change their form, and be anyone else. Although temporary, it sure would be nice to assume the form of someone influential, and perhaps ask the president, in the nicest way possible of course, to please stop talking from here on out.


Poyjuice Potion

.75oz Gin (A good London dry style, I used Bombay Sapphire.)

.75oz Pisco (I really like the Mosto Verde from Barsol for this drink.)

.5oz Overproof Jamaican Rum

1oz Orgeat

.5oz Pandan Syrup

1oz Lime Juice

.5oz Orange Juice

.5oz Coconut Cream


Glass Tiki

Whip shake and pour unstrained.

Top with crushed ice.

Garnish with pineapple fronds, dehydrated orange slices, and a tiny cauldron of dry ice for that wizarding effect.

Drinks come and go, but I can't stop scratching my head today. It should be funny. This should be really hilarious, but it's terrifying instead. At the very least, we have cocktails to get our minds off everything. Just stay home everyone, keep shaking, and don't, under any circumstance, ingest or inject cleaning products.

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