Dec. 16 McCallister Frappé


Throughout time, the Christmas season has held many mysteries yet to be solved. Some wonder if Santa Claus is real, while others wonder if they'll have a white Christmas this year. From the early times of Yule, to the season of holidays we observe today, so many secrets are left unknown. There is, without a doubt though, one pressing mystery we find ourselves asking every single year. "What on Earth did Kevin McCallister's father do for a living?"


Hey thirsty readers, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You'd better come stop me! It was born in the early 90s, and we will never be able to replicate it's magic again, with today's world of cell phones and connectivity. Wasn't Home Alone the ultimate holiday fantasy for every kid at that time? Maybe it was just me, but being the same age as Kevin, when the movie was released, I dreamed of my own Christmas alone. The only thing is I didn't live in a ridiculous suburban McMansion, like the McCallisters.


Big house aside, a lot of things about Kevin's family just don't add up. They mention early on that they're visiting family in Paris for the holidays. It just so happens, Robert McCallister, Kevin's uncle, has moved to Paris, and his children are still back in Chicago, with the rest of the McCallister clan. The first question pops up, and that's "How can Kevin's father, Peter McCallister, afford a trip to Paris for thirteen people?"


It just so happens, after a little digging, it was apparently Peter's brother Rob who payed for the flights. That's one question answer, with another asked. "So what does Rob McCallister do for a living?" Apparently, both McCallister boys are highly successful, with a miserable mooch of an older brother in Frank. Oh Frank McCallister, if ever there were a man with a greater inferiority complex, I'm not for who they might be. So what do these upper middle class brothers do for a living afterall?


The novelization of the film tells that Peter is some type of prominent businessman, but it never really says what his business might be. Most fans seem to think he's probably a day trader of some sort, while his wife is a fashion designer. I suppose that explains why a family home would have a dozen or so mannequins inside. This still isn't explaining the wealth of uncle Rob.


I'm trying really hard not to touch on the second movie Lost in New York, but it's hard not to when digging into the mysterious world of Rob McCallister. Apparently, he's moved from his home in New York to Paris, but one year later, he still has the New York place. As a former New Yorker, I can tell you the fantasy of owning a home in the city is already a fantasy reserved for the ultra privileged, but having homes in both the Big Apple and Paris at the same time would be complete insanity. This is a particular mystery which might not want to be solved.


After all this digging, it's easy to just surmise the McCallisters are on the far upper side of middle class, if not wealthy. That being said, it seems a tad unlikely they wouldn't have some white-collar Christmas cocktail traditions. Since we don't really get to spend much time with the adults in these movies (thanks Kevin), I felt they needed a little seasonal refreshment their family could enjoy for the ages. Perhaps this could be a recipe handed down to Peter and Rob from their father, making Frank green with envy. Either way, when you want this series of holiday films, you now have something refreshing and minty to sip, while finally putting the woes of the unknown to rest.


McCallister Frappé

1oz Unaged Overproof Jamaican Rum

.75oz Green Chartreuse

.5oz White Creme de Menthe

.5oz Falernum

.5oz Lime Juice

1oz Pineapple Juice

2 dashes Absinthe


Footed Poco Grande Glass

Blend with 1.5 cups crushed ice.

Garnish with mint sprigs, flower, peppermint candy, nutmeg, and powdered sugar.


*With enough of these babies, you yourself might construct a house full of booby traps which could make the Viet Cong envious. That being said, don't let the refreshing, frozen nature of this drink fool you. Enjoy as responsibly as a global pandemic might permit.*






Another day, another drink, and another mystery solved. I'm looking outside at a blizzard in my fair city of Pittsburgh right now, so I should probably makes plans to venture out to work. For someone who grew up in Pennsylvania, I sure don't fair well in the cold. Maybe it's those years down south. Maybe I'm just a big baby. Stay warm out there everyone. We still have a ways to go before Christmas day, so keep shaking.

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