Dec. 8 Angry Elf


"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." Maybe singing will make things better. Sometimes, even during your favorite time of year, the weight of the world can really grind you down. If there was ever a day I needed the advice of Buddy the Elf, it's today.


Hello again, my thirsty readers. Normally, I'm in the most cheerful head-space during this time of year. The lights on the trees sparkling just take my cares away. Even an over the top tropical cocktail isn't making me smile today. You might be wondering why I'm not my holly jolly self today, and it's honestly for the same reasons many of you might be having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. The world is an absolute mess. That's a short answer really. Since March, we've been biding our time, hoping things could begin to resemble what we knew as "normal" once again. Being away isn't always the easier way to live. Sure, having a fully-functioning brain sounds great, but wouldn't it be nice to be naive again like a child? Wouldn't it be great to live life still thinking everything is candy canes and gum drops?

In 2003, most people still thought of Jon Favreau as "the other guy from Swingers," but the world would soon think of him in his new venture as director, after the release of Elf. The film tells the story of Buddy (Will Ferrell), a human adopted by elves, after hitching a o ride back to the North Pole in Santa's toy sack. Growing up as an elf, Buddy doesn't know that he's different, until his enormous human size makes him unable to do the tasks expected of normal elves.


Upon learning he is actually human, Buddy looks up his real father on Santa's list, discovering he's in the naughty section. Determined to help his father become nice, he sets out on a journey to New York to find him. Initially being mistaken for a department store elf, Buddy finds himself in jail, with only one name he can call, his estranged father. The father arrives and immediately takes Buddy to a doctor for a DNA test.


Once it's been confirmed that Buddy is his long lost son, Buddy's father Walter takes him home to meet that family. They soon realize that the whole "elf thing" isn't an act, and Buddy is convinced he came from the North Pole. Things take an even weirder turn soon after, as Buddy runs away, Santa crashes in Central Park, and the eventual feel-good vibes start flowing. This is a Christmas movie after all, no matter now silly.


Buddy never lost his childlike sense of wonder, no matter how much the world beat him to the ground. Maybe if I could capture just a little bit of that magic, I could see everything through rose colored glasses again. Maybe we could all learn to love each other, and maybe the world could be more empathetic to one another. On the other hand, these fools can't even wear a mask to keep each other safe. I'd rather stay an angry elf instead.


Angry Elf

3oz Espresso Rum

1.5oz Creme de Menthe5

.5oz Lime Juice

4oz Pineapple Juice

2oz Orange Juice

2oz Coconut Cream

12 dashes Angostura Bitters

5 dashes Absinthe


Elf Boot Mug

Flash blend or whip shake and pour unstrained.

Top with crushed ice

Garnish with tea leaf, orchid, parasol, peppermint candies, and nutmeg.


Espresso Rum

6oz Lightly Aged Barbados Rum

6oz Overproof Jamaican Rum

30g Ground Espresso


In Chemex filter, pour rum blend over ground espresso.

Handle with caution.

Yeah, I've been doing the same thing most of us have been doing during this pandemic, and that's convincing myself it could be worse. You know what? We were right. It did get a whole lot worse. Let's just hope people come to their senses soon, because I really don't want to lose anyone else. Tomorrow is another day though. I'll catch you then, so take it easy, stay angry, and keep shaking.

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