Very Nice Things



This is America, land of the theoretically free, home of the abundantly incompetent. The selfishness we've seen lately, has only lowered my opinion of the human race. We find every opportunity to complain, to act self-important, and to put others down, only to do nothing with the position we give ourselves through those acts. The statue doesn't read "Give me your tired, your poor, and your faint of appreciation." It seems, we the people could use a little empathy.


Welcome back to my wacky world of tropical libations and endless rants, thirsty readers. It's been two weeks since we last saw each other, and things sure have become a mess. It wasn't like everything was exactly great when we left off, but I had hope. We positioned ourselves in the right direction, but that only works when people can follow those directions. Are these people truly incapable, or are they just so selfish, they'd rather see others die, than be inconvenienced? Sadly, I'm going to say the latter.



"This is why we can't have nice things." In the 1980s, comedian Paula Poundstone brought this phrase into the mainstream, referencing her mother's use of the term, while she was growing up. “She used to get mad over absolutely everything. I remember the time I knocked a Flintstones glass off the table and she said, 'That’s why we can’t have nice things.'" As children, I think a lot of us probably heard our parents say this to us. I know I certainly did.


So why are we hearing this phrase so much again as adults? I'd have to say it's because we seem to be incapable of listening. It's as if we've all regressed back to children, but who will care for us now? We whined and complained for businesses to reopen, then we couldn't follow the rules when they welcomed us back. I've witnesses this firsthand. I've had tables decide our policy of "no parties larger than four," did not apply to them. I've seen guests walk up to our host stand, without masks, getting directing in the faces of our staff. There's a disregard, and so many people seem to think the rules don't apply to them.


You wanted to go back to "normal," but that way of life is no more. You wanted an escape from the mundane, allowing yourself to get away for awhile. These things come at a price. Until you can learn to listen, there will be no "normal," but did we truly expect any less? This is why we can't have nice things.


Very Nice Things

1oz Pineapple Rum (I used a nice one from Maggie's Farm)

.5oz Overproof Jamaican Rum

.5oz 151 Proof Guyanese Rum

1 Barspoon Allspice Dram

.5oz Cinnamon Syrup

.5oz Pandan Syrup

.75oz Lime Juice

1oz Pineapple Juice

1 dash Absinthe

1 dash Angostura Bitters


Tall Collins or Zombie Glass

Whip shake and pour unstrained.

Top with crushed ice.

Garnish with mint sprigs and flower.

Top with freshly grated mace.


I don't mean to be all "doom & gloom" here readers, but come on! While there are people walking around, touting the United States as "number one," we are literally placing last in survival. It's not too late though. We can have a bit more compassion for our fellow human beings, and believe it or not, it won't hurt either. Get your act together America, because I'm really tired of waiting for you to catch up. As for my thirsty readers, wear a mask, stay safe, and keep shaking.

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